Walking the Dallas terminal looking for gate A34, I wondered why I should feel like I was in special state of the USA. Somehow Texas and Texans always seem different, distant, blunt, big. It's something unexplainable, but somehow this day I felt engulfed and yet free... in a state I rarely visit.
As I put my hands under the restroom sink's water sensor, the thing sent water gushing out in a big way, immediately splashing me, the surrounding area, and the mirror. "stupid faucet" I thought, what's wrong with this thing? I tried again - same deal. That's a lot more water than I asked for. "This must be Texas". It comes fast and hard, there's no in-between, it's all or nothing... fast and hard!
Anticipating a wait and nothing more than a silly $4 snack pack on the plane, I decided that a beef burrito would be the thing. The overweight guy manning the counter greated me as he methodically squashed ants with a handful of napkins. "They like the soda machines at this airport", he said. Not satisfied with the progress he was making, he used his bare hand, squashed some more, and finally swept them off the counter.
I ordered and watched him head into the back to make the burrito for me and another customer. I had to believe he washed his hands when I wasn't looking.
Waiting there for a moment I wanted to lean against the metal handrail... trouble is, it was 5 foot tall with a 3 foot middle section. I figured the lower rung was for their 1st graders and the upper bar was purely insulting serving no more than to clang one's head. I'm not going to raise my hands to head level for a hand rail. This must be Texas.
The burrito ... outstanding. Ants or no.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
Rollover Ounces
It's a new concept.
Adam asked, "we have rollover minutes, why can't the post office give me rollover ounces?! It would save a lot of wasted postage".
The post office of our United States never outperforms itself. In fact the motto seems to be, "if you're happy, we're happy", in whatever way your package was or was not delivered. Yes, individual letter-packin hero's exist. Mine happens to be one.
Rollover Ounces. What's up with that? Ok, Adam suggests that if you pay for more ounces than you've mailed, they should roll them over to your next purchase. It's only one more good natured punt at our unfairly-labelled post office bullies. And bullies they are, according to Adam.
He believes he does a very good job weighing the parcels and assigned the correct postage due.
He finds that his package weighing several pounds cannot be mailed since it's .05 of an ounce too much. Somehow it just seems unfair... the clerk barely smiles as she coldly informs him that this package can't go.
Adam returns with his refused work of art. Yet, before he left the post office a plan was hatched! It would only take a couple minutes. And then he would watch her face.
Adam, hurriedly returns and opens the large parcel. Next, he removes the inner cardboard flaps and recloses the package just as before, returning to the post office within 5 minutes after he was "refused".
He approaches the clerk in the next window and is delighted to see that his other "favorite" package refusing clerk is watching him attempt the package at another window. She reports, "this guy tried his package here and it's over-weight. Don't take it!"
Unabashed, the new clerk weighs the package and sweetly declares... "Your package is. 3! Ounces! Under!... good job!
Adam never felt so good.
Adam asked, "we have rollover minutes, why can't the post office give me rollover ounces?! It would save a lot of wasted postage".
The post office of our United States never outperforms itself. In fact the motto seems to be, "if you're happy, we're happy", in whatever way your package was or was not delivered. Yes, individual letter-packin hero's exist. Mine happens to be one.
Rollover Ounces. What's up with that? Ok, Adam suggests that if you pay for more ounces than you've mailed, they should roll them over to your next purchase. It's only one more good natured punt at our unfairly-labelled post office bullies. And bullies they are, according to Adam.
He believes he does a very good job weighing the parcels and assigned the correct postage due.
He finds that his package weighing several pounds cannot be mailed since it's .05 of an ounce too much. Somehow it just seems unfair... the clerk barely smiles as she coldly informs him that this package can't go.
Adam returns with his refused work of art. Yet, before he left the post office a plan was hatched! It would only take a couple minutes. And then he would watch her face.
Adam, hurriedly returns and opens the large parcel. Next, he removes the inner cardboard flaps and recloses the package just as before, returning to the post office within 5 minutes after he was "refused".
He approaches the clerk in the next window and is delighted to see that his other "favorite" package refusing clerk is watching him attempt the package at another window. She reports, "this guy tried his package here and it's over-weight. Don't take it!"
Unabashed, the new clerk weighs the package and sweetly declares... "Your package is. 3! Ounces! Under!... good job!
Adam never felt so good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
